Dr. Scripto and the Impenetrable Password Paradox

It was a typical Tuesday at the PowerShell Academy, or so everyone thought. Dr. Scripto, the renowned PowerShell wizard, was sipping his morning coffee (from his favorite cmdlet-decorated mug, of course) when the Dean burst into his office.

“Dr. Scripto!” the Dean exclaimed, out of breath. “We have a crisis! The academy’s password policy has been deemed too weak by the auditors. We need a new, foolproof password generation system, and we need it yesterday!”

Dr. Scripto’s eyes twinkled with excitement. “Fear not, dear Dean! This sounds like a job for PowerShell!”

He swiftly turned to his computer, his fingers flying across the keyboard as he began to craft a password generator script.

function New-SecurePassword {
    param (
        [int]$Length = 16,
        [int]$SpecialChars = 2,
        [int]$Numbers = 2
    )

    $CharSet = 'abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyzABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ'
    $SpecialCharSet = '!@#$%^&*()_+-=[]{}|;:,.<>?'
    $NumberSet = '0123456789'

    $Password = New-Object char[] $Length
    $Random = New-Object System.Random

    # Fill with random letters
    for ($i = 0; $i -lt $Length; $i++) {
        $Password[$i] = $CharSet[$Random.Next(0, $CharSet.Length)]
    }

    # Ensure special characters
    for ($i = 0; $i -lt $SpecialChars; $i++) {
        $Index = $Random.Next(0, $Length)
        $Password[$Index] = $SpecialCharSet[$Random.Next(0, $SpecialCharSet.Length)]
    }

    # Ensure numbers
    for ($i = 0; $i -lt $Numbers; $i++) {
        $Index = $Random.Next(0, $Length)
        $Password[$Index] = $NumberSet[$Random.Next(0, $NumberSet.Length)]
    }

    return -join $Password
}

# Generate a password
$NewPassword = New-SecurePassword
Write-Host "Generated Password: $NewPassword"

“Eureka!” Dr. Scripto exclaimed. “This script will generate passwords so secure, even I might have trouble remembering them!”

The Dean looked puzzled. “But Dr. Scripto, if they’re hard to remember, won’t our staff just write them down on sticky notes?”

Dr. Scripto stroked his PowerShell-blue beard thoughtfully. “Ah, the eternal password paradox. Secure yet memorable… This calls for phase two of our project!”

He quickly added to his script:

function New-MemorablePassword {
    $Adjectives = @('Happy', 'Sleepy', 'Grumpy', 'Bashful', 'Sneezy', 'Dopey', 'Doc')
    $Nouns = @('Dwarf', 'Princess', 'Apple', 'Forest', 'Castle', 'Mirror', 'Witch')
    $SpecialChars = @('!', '@', '#', '$', '%', '^', '&')
    $Numbers = 1..99

    $Password = (Get-Random -InputObject $Adjectives) +
                (Get-Random -InputObject $Nouns) +
                (Get-Random -InputObject $SpecialChars) +
                (Get-Random -InputObject $Numbers).ToString("00")

    return $Password
}

# Generate a memorable password
$MemorablePassword = New-MemorablePassword
Write-Host "Generated Memorable Password: $MemorablePassword"

“Voila!” Dr. Scripto announced. “Now we have two options: ultra-secure for our critical systems, and memorable yet still quite secure for our staff!”

The Dean was impressed. “Dr. Scripto, you’ve done it again! But… how do we decide which password type to use for each system?”

Dr. Scripto’s eyes gleamed with the promise of a new challenge. “Ah, my dear Dean, that sounds like a perfect topic for next week’s advanced PowerShell decision-making algorithms class!”

As the Dean left, already feeling more secure, Dr. Scripto turned to his computer with a grin. “Now, to create a PowerShell script that generates PowerShell scripts that generate passwords… The possibilities are endless!”

And so, another day at the PowerShell Academy came to a close, with Dr. Scripto already dreaming of his next scripting adventure. For in the world of PowerShell, every problem was just another opportunity for an elegant solution… and perhaps a touch of scripting magic.